Last Updated on May 22, 2022 5:42 pm by Steven

It is not about you

It is Not About You

These are my thoughts about being selfish during difficult and troubling times.  We should be allowed to act this way, but because we are so focused on ourselves we lose sight of the bigger picture.  My business analogy brains says “this is when you can’t see the forest through the trees.”

I apologize in advance if my thoughts are a bit jumbled.

It Started with a Snowstorm and a Broken Leg

Everything started on 1 December 2001, it was the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Lorell was seven months pregnant with Brandon.  Knowing I had a pregnant wife, I got up a bit early to help everyone get ready for church.  I noticed that it snowed the night before.  Me, trying to be a good husband, went outside to shovel the driveway so pregnant Lorell did not have to walk on the snow.  Long story short: I fell, broke my tibia and fibula.  I was in the hospital for 2 days to screw my leg back together.  It took me six months to (mostly) recover.

NOTE:  Do not wear dress shoes when you shovel the snow.

After I had been home for about a week, one of the wiser (older) guys in the neighborhood was visiting with me and asked me the same question that it felt like hundreds of other people had asked me:  What do you need help with? -or- what can I do for you?

Because I married Superwoman who can do anything (and I mean anything) and has so many superpowers that the list would be too long, all of our needs were being met.  I was also getting very tired of being asked this question.

So I answered, “We are all good.  We don’t need anything.”

Then came the very loving rebuke: “You are probably correct, you don’t need anything.  But I need the blessings from God that I can only receive when I serve you.  Please do not deny me the blessing I need because you want to do everything on your own.”

Ouch… Loving rebuke received!

That was a light bulb moment for me.

If I deny people the opportunity to serve me, I’m both denying God’s love for me and denying God’s blessings to others.

I was very humbled to learn this.

Steven and Lorell in the Belly of the Dragon – and this tunnel looks a little bit like my colon!

And Continued with my First Tattoo

At the beginning of last year, I got my first tattoo (which you can read all about here), which marked where cancer had invaded my colon.  I am a very private person and I didn’t want anyone to know about my issues because of a lot of feelings, including:

• embarrassment
• others have needs greater than mine
• I don’t want to be the center of attention
• I don’t like to be gossiped about.

My friends loving rebuke came to mind.  I cannot deny God’s love for me, therefore I need to allows others the opportunity to help and serve me.

When people would ask if they can do anything, I gave them specific things to do.  Some of these included:

• Will you pray that the surgeons will find all of the cancer.
• Will you pray for the surgeons skills.
• Can you drive me to a follow-up doctor appointment
• Lorell needs chocolate – can you pick her up some?
• I need Ice Cream – can you pick up some?

Did I need others help when I was going to my colon cancer battle?  No… and Yes.

No – I could have done all of the praying and had the faith required for the surgery.  I could have asked my wife to take another day off work – or called Uber.  I could have ran to the store to pick up chocolate and ice cream for us.

Yes!  By allowing others to serve us, we were filled with the peace and comfort knowing that God cared enough about me and my problems that he allowed angels to help me with trivial issues.  Additionally, each of our friends and family that we allowed to help us were greatly blessed by God.

Everyone needs their share of the blessings

When we deny others the opportunity to help us, we deny that God loves us – which is false!

God has surrounded by people that need our help in two ways:

1. They need us to serve them.
2. They need to serve us.

Our need us to serve them

There are many people in our path that God has prepared us to help them.  Sometimes it is an experience we have gone through that we need to share with them.  Sometimes it is a skill we have that they need.  God blesses us greatly when we help others.

Their need to serve us

In our world today, I believe this is a greater need.  People desire to serve each other because this is what God wants.  We know that when we help others we receive peace and comfort in our hearts and God’s blessings are bestowed upon us.

When we hide our problems from the people around us, it is like hiding a candlestick under a bushel.  Jesus had a few things to say about this!

There is no reason to go through your trials alone.  If you are willing to help someone else in need, you should to be willing to allow them to help you!  Everyone will be greatly blessed because of it.

God has surrounded us with friends, family and angels that are willing and able to help us.

We need to reach out.

God will do the rest!