Last Updated on December 23, 2018 12:21 pm by Steven
new Christmas car
It is that wonderful time of year. Every store has Christmas decorations up. Advertisements are telling you that your spouse will be happy that you purchased a $50,000 car without talking to them first. 🙂 HINT: don’t do this – all major purchases need to be agreed upon before the purchase.
Beautiful and touching Christmas songs are in the air.
And in order to be happy (because of societal expectations), you have to purchase a few gifts for everyone that you love, are related to, live by, work with, or just see on the street.
The stress of gift giving
-or- our love/hate relationship with Christmas.
This Elder is ready to fly to the stars……
My wife has a love/hate relationship with Christmas. She enjoys the Christmas music and loves having family & friends over to our home and loves the decorations.
However; she hates Christmas shopping!
I can feel her stress increase as Christmas approaches. Most of this is because of the social expectations that require lots of money to be spent on gifts and gifts to be given to lots of people.
We all have cousins, friends, and co-workers that spend a lot of time and money giving Christmas gifts to everyone that they know. We judge ourselves and feel like we are not doing enough when we don’t give back to them.
How much should I spend on Christmas?
Because Christmas is not an emergency, we should be financially planning for it all year. But how much should we spend?
About 10 years ago, when we started on our budgeting journey, we decided that we could spend $1,000 on Christmas. We put this into the budget ($1,000 / 12) = $83 per month. At the time we were making about $70k per year. This comes out to about 1.5% of our income for one big holiday.
As the years went by, our income went up, but our Christmas budget did not. We still spent about $1,000 a year on Christmas, which is about .5% of our income this year.
Christmas is one day out of 365 (or 366 when it is a leap year) – so simple math says we should spend 1/365 or .277% of our income on Christmas! This number might be a little low – but it is a good goal!
But I want my kids to be happy
-or- my kids want expensive gifts
Miriah & Juli on Disney Cruise
Here are a couple of Truths that I have learned about gifts:
Hard Truth #1:
The price of the gift has no correlation to the happiness it brings to either me or the receiver.
Hard Truth #2:
The smaller and more personal the gift, the more meaning and joy it brings to both the receiver and the giver.
Sam, Jason, Adam on Disney Cruise
We are not taught these truths in school or by society. But they are still true.
Here are some things that we have done over the years to help us and our kids:
- Ten years ago, the kids wanted to do a Disney Cruise. We saved up all year. They knew that this was their Christmas that year. We did a few small gifts that year, aside from the Cruise. This set the stage that it is OK to just have a few small gifts under the tree.
- We had one Christmas that was very lean financially because I was not employed. This helped us get rid of the stress giving to every relative. We used the excuse of my unemployment to only purchase a few gifts.
- We have always discussed our finances with our kids. They have always known about how much I bring in, save for retirements, pay in mortgage, taxes, utilities, etc.
- We had to give ourselves permission to be OK with having a smaller Christmas. This has always been hard as we have some family that goes all out. You have to be OK with other people being judgy of you and their snide comments.
- Even as our income has increased, we still only budget about $85/month to Christmas in YNAB. Having a set budget (and the kids can see it) sets some very strong guardrails. The kids can do simple math (we have 5 kids and budget about $1000/year) so that they know they are not going to get extravagant gifts. Being open with the kids on finances has helped them set proper expectations.
- We don’t care what others think or expect of us. I decide where my money goes – not friends, family, or advertisers.
Why we give gifts at Christmas
I read an article today that said a Gift is only a Gift if nothing is expected in return. If something is expected in return, then you are just horse-trading.
A gift is only a gift if nothing is expected in return
Christ is Born
The reason we give gifts at Christmas is to emulate God the Father giving us the Greatest Gift, His Son Jesus Christ. We cannot reciprocate the gift God has given us so it might be the only true gift we are ever given.
The reason we give gifts at Christmas is to emulate God the Father giving us the Greatest Gift, His Son Jesus Christ
At this Christmas season – if you are stressed about the gifts, just Stop It!
It might not be that easy to change. But you can change. You can switch the focus of yourself, and your family to be more Christ-centered, which is why have this Holiday in the first place! Find gifts that are meaningful and within your budget. Heavenly Father would have our emulation of him no other way!
To learn more about how you can help others #LightTheWorld and my beliefs, please visit mormon.org.
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